Today I am working on "The Convalescent", a piece I have recently begun. As with every piece, it seems to be painting itself far away from my original plan. As usual, I have the option to focus, or "go with the flow", even if it veers away completely from the plan I made originally. Pictured below you will find the original blue print. It includes doberman pinschers, a strange veiled figure, a simple four-post bed, and a room that is cold, like a hospital.
Part of my problem in making art is my unwillingness to focus. I get excited by a "lead", and move forward, completely abandoning the map. Maybe it has something to do with being Californian. Regardless, I am at a place where I continuously work on the bed and the walls, avoiding the true subject.
Will the piece be dreary, or fabulous? I am inclined to be dreary, but I want to be fabulous. As I noted earlier, a tarot reading told me I'm dishonest with my work. It is true I continue to mourn about Renata, which this piece is about. But Renata, pictured below, obviously wasn't dreary, or in any way the convalescent that she is now.
If this is a portrait of a person's spirit, it certainly shouldn't be sad. But I do want to own that her life is a tragedy.
